she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
