You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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