Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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