So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
