im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
After last night, I could never be a politician.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
