You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
