Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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