I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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