Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
