Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
