New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
