Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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