plz talk dirty to me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
