My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
