Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
