One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will be naked everywhere
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
