i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
