is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
