Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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