yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
