The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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