im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
