Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just googled if crying burns calories
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
