I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
