I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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