Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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