At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
