Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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