I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
