capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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