You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
