Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
