I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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