im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
