Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize