i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
