Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
