If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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