he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
