So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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