This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize