Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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