hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
