hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
