I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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