Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
