Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize