one two three fourrrrnication!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you made out with another girl for some wings
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
