Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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