its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got inside last night via doggy door
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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