i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
