I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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