You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
