My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
