can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
