dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
