SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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