Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
