My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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