Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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