Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
