I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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