This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
