Kiss
Puke
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
