she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would ride that face into the sunset
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
