I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
