I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have aggressive nipples.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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